Maisie's Birth Story

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When I was pregnant for the first time all I could think about was getting my hands on my baby. The birth was just something to get through. An obstacle between us. When the time came, fear took over my body as soon as my contractions became strong. An epidural brought the calm I craved, and albeit very medical and detached, the birth was peaceful. By the time I was expecting my second son I was half way through my antenatal teaching diploma. I had much more understanding and was excited and confident – thrilled at the prospect of giving birth again. But he was enormous, and as a result the experience was traumatic. So when I became pregnant with my daughter a couple of years later, the first thing I did was hire a doula. I knew that I would need support in my quest to remain calm. I was determined to make this last birth as good as I could. I prepared and trained as if for a marathon. (I’m so glad I did. I lie in bed at night reliving every minute of it – often – and wishing I could do it all over again. Just writing about it now spreads a smile over my face and a warmth in my chest.) Contractions were frustratingly stop/start at first. The long latent phase I tell my expectant parents all about. I knew that my body was warming up, and that I just needed to be patient, but I was weary and struggling. I called in support from a treasured circle of friends, who soothed me into switching off my brain entirely. We accredit so much of what happens to our thoughts, but my thoughts hadn’t created this new soul, with her own eyes and ears and heart and lungs and perfect little button nose. My body had. We give birth with our bodies, not with our brains.

I needed to distract myself. So I folded laundry. I took naps – and the boys to the park. I read and I snoozed and I breathed deep and had bubble baths. It went on. On Sunday evening I put the boys to bed, told my husband to get some sleep, and padded into the sitting room where I lit the fire and settled down to read my book. I used my bookmark to keep my place while I

breathed through each contraction. My clever body decided I needed a break around 2am and so I slept soundly, and woke at around 4am to continue to labour peacefully. I called my doula at 5am and within twenty minutes she had arrived and was rubbing my back, gently waking my husband and suggesting he make me some breakfast, and stoking the fire. As soon as she had organised for the boys to be taken out by my best friend, my body let go. We drove to the hospital with my baby girl wriggling her way down all the way there. We laughed so much as my belly jumped about all over the place at the traffic lights! Once in the hospital room things moved fast.

My waters broke and gushed onto the floor – clean and clear. The sun beamed into the room. I was overcome with gratitude. Then my body went into transition and I became very focused

on what I had to do next. I needed the encouragement of my doula and husband to cross this most incredible of finishing lines. They cheered me on as up on all fours, I carefully roared my baby, slowly and gently, out into the world. I was surrounded by love. Love was a NOUN, and I was covered in it. Throughout each push I remember thinking – this exquisite pain will never

be felt again. This incredible feeling – BIRTHING – is happening NOW. I made myself completely present in the moment and time stood still for a while. Soon I heard a voice from far away calling my name. I was being told to reach down between my legs and pull my daughter (no willy!) up towards me. There was whooping and cheering and tears and cries of astonished joy from all of us as I held her up, and close to me. The sun continued to beam onto us as we held her and laughed and cried with gratitude. A gratitude that has surrounded me ever since; for the beauty and the miracle of birth, and for the three incredible new people my body brought into the world.

Antonia is a mother of 3, an antenatal educator and baby massage instructor. You can find more about her on her website Nurturing New Families and on Instagram.

Maisie’s Birth Story

Antonia is a mother of 3, an antenatal educator and baby massage instructor. You can find more about her on her website Nurturing New Families and on Instagram.

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