Top 5 tips for preparing for twins
This post was written by Dr. Justine Davenport, a Clinical Psychologist in the NHS and also The Baby Chapter course contributor. Justine talks here about her journey preparing for the arrival of her twins.
There are certain moments in life you never forget. Flashes of a scene that you can bring up in your mind’s eye whenever you choose to. To date, there are a few of these flashbulb moments I can recollect – like the moment I refreshed UCAS and found out I had achieved my A-Levels and got into my chosen University. The moment my husband proposed on top of Parliament Hill in London. The bus journey we were on when I opened a crumpled bit of paper to find out our first child was a boy. And, most recently, the day I found out I was having twins.
Being told I was expecting twins
If you ask me to conjure you up the moment the sonographer told me I was having twins I could do it in a flash. The soft lighting, the smell of hospital bed plastic, the slight nausea I was carrying around with me 24 hours a day, the sound of a muffled heartbeat on the screen. Then, after a long pause, “I haven’t just heard one strong heartbeat, there are two.” I will never forget those words.
At first, it was pure joy, the thought of not just one child, but two was just unbelievable. Then, after the initial elation had settled came the apprehension. Not just for the pregnancy journey (my twins were MCDA so classed as “high risk), not just for the birth (how on earth do I birth two babies?) but for what lay ahead. The thought of introducing not just one new baby, but two into our unit of three was incredibly overwhelming. Looking back, I honestly had no idea what to expect and so many worries, but now, as I sit here watching my two strong, feisty, healthy 8-month-old identical twin girls fight over a spoon, I am astounded at what my body, and my family have achieved.
There are so many things to consider when preparing for twins (and even more so if you already have a child). I’m sure everyone will have different tips for what is most helpful. After collating some feedback from my local twin group and considering my own experience these are my
top 5 tips for preparing for twins:
Share your feelings
Don’t be ashamed to talk to your partner, loved ones, friends, midwife, consultant or anyone you think will listen about how you feel about having twins. For many, this may be an incredibly happy time, but for some, it can bring up worry, sadness, apprehension, or fear, and talking about these feelings will alleviate some of what you are experiencing. You are not looking for answers to your concerns you are simply taking time to process this huge life event.
Find a Twins Group
Look up the Twins Trust online – they provide lots of support and educational groups for twin parents. We attended one of their virtual groups for people who were having twins who already had a child. Not only did this provide us with incredible information about what to expect in a twin pregnancy/birth but it also covered practical things such as feeding twins whilst juggling a toddler, the best double buggy’sbuggies that fitted buggy boards, what cars fit 3 car seats across the back seat, and how best to introduce your child to your new-borns. We also got added to a what’s app group with the couples who attended which were invaluable in those first few months.
Make some Twin Parent Friends
Talk to other twin parents you know, or if you don’t, join a local twin FB group. If it is your thing (which for many it isn’t) find out if there is a local twin group you can attend. Sometimes hearing from people who have gone through the process (and are still in it) can be incredibly valuable. This includes talking to parents of twins who spent time in neo-natal units. This can be really useful in preparing you for a range of eventualities and can empower you to know what to expect. Having a group of people ready to meet up with each week that don’t mind if you’re late and can completely relate to the juggle of getting a double buggy through a door and then trying to hold two children at once is a godsend.
Consider what you really need
Don’t buy two of everything! And if you do, try secondhand. Having twins is expensive and even in a moderate-sized house, we felt like the baby stuff was taking over before they had even arrived. On reflection from those early days the key essentials were two car seats, two next-to-me cots, a twin feeding pillow (a must!), somewhere safe for them to be put down on each floor (which may mean setting up some travel cots downstairs), and a nappy station on each floor which had wipes, nappies, bibs, muslins, velcro swaddles and spare clothes all to hand.
Look after YOU
Take care of yourself. I think it’s quite telling that this is my last point when really it should be my first. I think that says a lot about Mums – putting themselves bottom of the list. However, with a twin pregnancy you are quite literally growing two human beings. That is INCREDIBLE! So, treat your body and mind with the respect they deserve.
Take time to sit down, leave the washing up and have a cup of tea. Speak to your employer about slowing work down. You may have extra monitoring required and this will mean juggling your diary and asking for help. Make sure your work colleagues, family and friends are aware so they can adjust accordingly. Write down some positive affirmations and fill your house with things that will remind you just how bloody amazing you are. And with each day you are one step closer to holding those two babies in your arms.
Good luck twin mama x
If you are expecting twins, firstly, massive congratulations! Secondly, head to our blog Twin Birth Story; Ottilie and Delilah to read Clemmie’s birth story. Or are you on the other side as a birth partner? Read Ottilie and Clemmie’s dad’s hilarious account of their birth in our blog, Father of Daughters: My Twin Birth Story.
