Birth Partner Groupies
You will find the line surprisingly long for your birth partner volunteers with offers from your mother, sisters, mother in law and close friends all wanting a front seat of the action, to have the opportunity to play Jenny from Call the Midwife and tick watching a baby being born off their bucket list all in one day.
Whilst this is all so very flattering with your nearest and dearest desperate to watch YOUR baby being brought into the world, it can make your decision quite a tough one. Yet, deciding who will support you through your labour and birth is an important choice. You need someone who can help you feel relaxed and supported. Dads get such a hard rep from the clever editors at One Born every minute showing clips of Dads making inappropriate comments and showing them more interested in their Monster Munch than massage, more feet up than foot rub and more running away than running a bath. Although, thankfully this has not affected their choice to be in the delivery room with most women choosing their actual partners, in fact about 97% of fathers now attend the birth of their child.
As the birth of my first child became imminent, the decision was a no-brainer for me. My mum and partner would be with me. I’m lucky enough to have an excellent relationship with my mum and I really couldn’t have got through it without her. My partner was also a great help and they were both able to support each other and take breaks without me being left on my own. There were times when I asked them to be quiet (or something along those lines!) but on the whole, they were fab.
Women have supported women in child birth for thousands of years and most hospitals are happy to allow two birth supporters. 3Choosing a woman who has gone through childbirth herself, is an added bonus, as long as she doesn’t talk about her own experiences whilst you are at your most vulnerable. You could choose a female family member; a sister, cousin, aunt etc. Or if you have a close friend you feel relaxed with, why not ask her?
Some women prefer to choose a professional to support them through this time, often from the start of the pregnancy through to the birth and postnatal period. You can choose an independent midwife or a doula. Its best to do your research when choosing to pay privately for birth support. There’s a wealth of information out there, a good place to start if you are thinking about having a doula is Doula UK (doula.org.uk).
Above all, whoever you choose, make the decision that is right for you and not to please others. Plus make sure they are there on the front seats with positivity and not just front seats with popcorn.
