Manage your expectations and not your baby

THE most challenging thing that I find as a parent are the expectations. Every new mother expects the “feeds every 3-4 hours, long napping, 12 hour night time sleeping, loves the tummy time, happy in the buggy, will go to anyone, doesn’t really cry, good” baby. That is the dream ☁️ right?

But where do we get these expectations from? Why do we think that our baby is going to be born and just start ticking the boxes that we’ve created. Where are these baby’s that have read the How to be a Dream Baby Manual?

Here’s a few different expectations that may make your time as a new parent a little easier.

1. Expect your baby to want to be cuddled with you for lots of the time. They’ve been carried by you for 9months and they’d like it to stay that way! Think 4th trimester for the first 3 months.

2. Expect your baby to not want to sleep in the cot/crib. This world is massive to them.

3. Expect them to want to sleep on you and open their eyes wide EVERY time you put them down.

4. Expect your baby to feed irregularly. Sometimes they cluster feed. Sometimes they snack. Sometimes they have days where they want less.

5. Expect to bounce, rock, sway, walk, feed, cuddle your baby to sleep.

6. Expect your baby to wake lots in the night. Expect them to wake and not want to go back to sleep. ?

7. Expect them to cat nap in the day.

8. Expect to ask for help. That’s ok – family/friends like to help too!

9. Expect the unexpected when it comes to bed sharing. When you’re dealing with all the above, bed sharing is easily done. It’s better to plan for this safely than accidentally. (See Lullaby Trust for safe bed sharing tips)

10. Expect to do nothing but care for your baby in the first few months.

11. If your baby is currently the dream baby- expect it to change.

Instead of trying to manage your baby. Manage your expectations ✨

How are sleep deprived, over whelmed mothers able to distinguish between what’s actual, normal baby behaviour and what’s just society’s unrealistic, expectation of a good baby ??‍♀️.

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ This very reason is why I’ve pulled in the cavalry that is Helen, the sleep pro and Olivia, the colic and reflux pro- (titles I think they deserve!) to give all TBTBC couples free sessions on baby sleep and colic/reflux when their baby’s arrived to help with the good baby expectation vs. reality of baby behaviours.

You are so much more than your baby’s ability to sleep or be settled. You are so much more than your baby’s ability to “be a good baby.”

Expect little from them and give them lots of love ❤️

Photo creds Monet Nicole – Birthing Stories